Isaiah 62:1-5

Psalm 96:1-10

1 Corinthians 12:1-11

JOHN 2:1-11

Sermon – January 14, 2007

Today is the eve of what would have been the 78^th birthday of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. That means that this is the year that there will have been as many years since his death as there were of his life. Hard to believe. But, although we remember him with our choice of choir anthem today and some of our hymns, I will not focus on his legacy in this sermon. Thinking about Dr. King’s legacy of Christian commitment to peace and justice should not be “segregated” into one day or one weekend a year; his words and deeds should make us creatively discontented with things as they are and prod us to build the beloved community all though the year. So I’ll leave you all in suspense about when I might quote him next, for quote him I shall.

Instead, I am going to concentrate, in traditional style, on the Scripture readings for this Sunday, especially the Gospel reading.

Is it a little hard for us to picture Jesus at a party? Having a glass of wine and swapping jokes with the guys? Dancing? Letting the good times roll?

Well, John’s Gospel tells us that Jesus’ first miracle – first sign, as John puts it, of who Jesus was (and is), was at a wedding reception. Picture that. Jesus “chicken dancing”…doing “the electric slide”…maybe “Hava nagilah” is more like it, or being part of the crowd of men who lifted the groom up on a chair, in traditional Orthodox Jewish style. I don’t know enough about first century Palestinian Jewish wedding receptions to be sure, but I’ll be willing to bet it was a really good party, and a really long party. In an age when all too often life was “nasty, brutish and short,” weddings were great, great celebrations.

And Jesus was there, with his disciples…and with his pushy mother, who was saying, “They’re out of wine, you can solve this, son” which he did.

Now, of course, in John’s Gospel, no incident means only the plain account of what happened; there are always layers upon layers of symbolic meanings. But let’s just rest with this plain meaning. Jesus, the Messiah, the most famous celibate in the history of the world, endorses marriage, and endorses it not backhandedly like St. Paul (who said “It is better to marry than to burn with desire”), but enthusiastically as a joyous thing.

Now, I’ve been to the church that exists today in Cana of Galilee, in Israel, and I have two things to share from that experience. First, it is an active church, not a museum or merely a shrine commemorating an event that took place nearly 2,000 years ago. And second, it is the headquarters of Christian “Marriage Encounter” in Israel, and is a place of pilgrimage for Christians who are part of that movement to strengthen and renew marriages. I saw banners there from all over the world representing Marriage Encounter groups.

So what those pilgrims, I believe, took away from the place was Jesus saying “Hurray for marriage” – which does not mean any disrespect or second-class citizenship for anyone who isn’t married, but simply what it says: “Hurray for marriage.”

So I offer these reflections to all of you, all of whom either (a) are married or (b) know someone who is! The fact that marriage exists is a good thing; the fact that people want to be profoundly and uniquely committed to each other is a good thing.

And, speaking personally, I have no problem with the recently passed New Jersey law permitting mayors to officiate at same-sex civil unions. I won’t be presiding at any (or at the blessing of a same-sex union), but if same-sex couples want to make such serious commitments, I think mutual, joyous, serious commitment is good. In my opinion if marriage is negatively impacted these days, it’s from people who don’t want to be committed to each other, not from people who do.

But I’m not going to focus on that issue either, except to add that any and all opinions about it are welcome, including (as usual) all those different from mine, and we can have a forum sometime if anyone would like to.

No, what I’d really like to focus on is marriage vows because everyone here either is married or knows someone who is, and because in The Book of Common Prayer service “The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage” the presider asks, “Will all of you who are witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?”

You see, in the Episcopal Church we believe in community and in the importance of witnesses to strengthen marriages and married couples. And whether you are married or not, or whether or not you were a witness of the wedding of anyone here, we are all witnesses of marriages and should, as Christians, be working to uphold them and care for them.

And as an example of a marriage which really made a difference, I would like to lift up the marriage of two particular Episcopalians which lasted 58 years, until death did them part. They took seriously their vows “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.” And the way they, as a married couple, loved and cherished each other “in sickness and in health” had a profound impact on the culture of our country that’s hard to believe for those who don’t remember when Betty Ford was the First Lady and Jerry Ford was President of the United States.

Before 1974, the words “breast cancer” and “radical mastectomy” were rarely spoken in public. According to the prevailing ethos of the day, President Ford should simply have had the White House issue a press release saying that the First Lady was going to have an unspecified surgery and would not be appearing in public for a while, period.

Instead, with her husband’s care and full support, Betty said, “Maybe if I, as First Lady, could talk about it candidly and without embarrassment, many other people would be able to as well.”

She received 50,000 get well cards.

Betty Ford broke the taboos regarding open discussions of women’s health issues. She demolished them. As a result, people started talking about early detection, self-examination – and spending more money on women’s health! And because Betty’s public stand was part of a loving marriage, the focus was on those issues. Had her husband not been fully supportive, it would have been different.

How could Jerry have known, when he stuck his neck out and married a divorcée the same year he entered Republican politics in the very conservative town of Grand Rapids, Michigan, that in “loving and cherishing” Betty he would end up being married to the woman I would call the second most consequential First Lady in American history? Hey, there were campaign buttons which said “Betty’s husband for President.” Not every guy could handle that. He could.

Loving and cherishing – and the courage to face tough realities – reached yet another level in 1978 when Betty faced her addictions to alcohol and painkillers, entered a hospital for treatment, entered recovery and subsequently founded a treatment center named for her that made the word “rehab” a household word.

In fact, if you Google “Betty Ford,” what you get is “best known as the founder of the Betty Ford Center.” O, yeah, her husband was President once.

Again, lots of political families have had issues with addiction – and lots of other families as well. Few have done as much for the health and well-being of others by getting the issues out there to be admitted to, talked about and dealt with as that wife and husband. Cancer, booze and pills: that’s tough stuff. Betty Ford saved lives. And bless her, she’s 88, and President Ford lived to be 93.

“To love and to cherish until we are parted by death.” I think that’s what Jesus has in mind.

So whether we’re married, or simply know people who are, let’s lift up those vows and encourage and care for those who are striving to keep them, especially when they are facing some of the tough issues of life, like those Betty and Jerry Ford faced. Those who are loving and cherishing need to be loved and cherished. And that’s a Christian ministry for all of us.

(The Rev.) Francis A. Hubbard

St. Barnabas Episcopal Church

Monmouth Junction, NJ